A Healing LIfe

A friend shared her intention to stay as far away from a healthcare provider as possible. Perhaps this is a fear rather than an intention. In the past, she has been anxious about going to the doctor, a story I often hear. The fear escalated to the level of panic attacks when several loved ones died this year. She came to associate her pain and grief with hospitals and health care providers’. The thought of an urgent care clinic for a sinus infection strikes terror in her heart. She cannot imagine seeing a healthcare provider on a routine basis. If she does manage to see someone, her blood pressure sky rockets. She feels trapped. Her fear is blocking her off from support and care around her health.

Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common in health care. People try many things to make changes and live a healthier life. They suffer disappointment when they are unsuccessful. Where to start? Frustrated, hopeless, afraid. They long to have their story heard but the doctor’s office has become a place of anxiety. Fifteen minutes visits, only one problem allowed, little time for questions. Patients are frustrated. Healthcare providers are frustrated. No safe space for my friend to explore the panic. No safe space to heal.

Finding a healthcare provider who is willing and to explore a unique, personal definition of health is a challenge. A provider who spends time with patients. Someone who listens and helps articulate an intention to live a healthier life. A relationship, a partnership, a collaboration in exploring what healthier looks like.  An intention spoken out loud with a supportive partner is powerful and life changing. It sets up loving, safe accountability. Think about an intention, a purpose, an aim that you have today for your health. Share it with someone you trust. Experience healing.

Looking for the magic?

Oh my gosh, I was robbed this morning. I have a magic wand that I place next to my bed every night and when I woke up this morning, it was gone. Foiled again. I long to bring the magic today, to give everyone the body of their dreams. I want them to feel like a million bucks  What’s a gal to do? How do I give searching souls what they want?

Many people come to my office with the goal of losing weight. Our culture tells us that if we get thin, the world will become a magical place. We will have the money, the car, the partner, the clothes of our dream. How much money is spent chasing this pipe dream? People want to know what they need to “cut out”. They want “a diet”. They come in search of the magic. I watch patients, family members, friends lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, gain weight. The 40’s hit and it's simply gain weight. No loss in sight. Weight loss clinics abound offering the magic, for quite a price I might add. The food plans that I see are calorie restrictive, often highly processed foods, liquid supplements. The body is shocked. This works for a few. For most, once food is added back, the weight begins to climb.

I wonder, rather than deprivation, giving up the foods you love, would be you be willing to add something?  There are many delicious foods that are simple to prepare. What would you like to add?  Often the response is, “I don’t know how to cook”, “Healthy foods taste like cardboard”, “I don’t like salad.”  I will let you in on a little secret, (whisper voice) fresh food is easy!  A little olive oil, salt and pepper, some lemon juice perhaps and, oh wow, magic happens right in the kitchen. It doesn’t have to be difficult or time consuming. Wait….I found my wand. It’s in the kitchen. Food is magical medicine. Our bodies love it and respond in magical ways. Nourish yourself by adding a fresh food to a meal every day for a week. Notice how you feel. Give your body the boost it’s longing for and find your magic.

Intentions, Paving the Road to Hell or Freedom to Thrive

Merriam-Webster defines intentions as the thing that you plan to do or achieve : an aim or purpose. I have plans and purposes that I find unfulfilled. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” I have heard. My yoga teacher encourages the class to set an intention for the day. To be loving, to be kind, something that is important to us. Of course I will be loving and kind the best I can. That does not seem so difficult. I did not see how this intention changed my life or allowed me to fulfill my plan or my purpose. One day the meaning of intention was powerfully revealed to me. Today I have a new understanding.

My story of intention began early one spring morning as my husband and I were preparing for his mother’s funeral.  We were hosting a gathering after the funeral. I love hosting events in my home. Creating perfection. The perfect setting, the perfect food, the perfect hostess. At the end of the event, I review how I have missed the mark. There is nothing that anyone can say that will convince me otherwise.

My questions on this morning, is the house clean enough, will we run out of food (a mortal sin in my family), will anyone notice that the lawn is not freshly mown, and so the list goes. Fortunately, something shifted within me that morning. Maybe it was the loving kindness intentions set in yoga class. I realized that I did not want the craziness of trying to achieve perfection one more time. I hoped this day could be different. I was ready to change. I wanted to be present to my husband, to our family and friends. I heard myself say out loud, “My intention for the day is to create safe space for people to gather and grieve and celebrate the life of a special woman”. I had no idea how this intention would be realized in my day.  Each time I had a struggle or question, I set it against my intention. If it supported the intention, I did it. If it did not matter to the intention, I let it go the best that I could. I had to define what I thought was safe. Having enough toilet paper on hand seemed to support safe space. Debating what color shoes (and trust me, there was a debate) that I wore did not.

Who knew? It was a miraculous discovery for me. I often allow perfectionism to stop me from fulfilling my hopes and dreams and intentions. This day, I decided that my intention was more important than perfectionism. It was new behavior to set everything that I did against an intention to create a safe space.
This day I realized that an intention is an amazing thing. I don’t believe intentions pave the road to hell. But perfectionism always feels like hell. Intentions are paving my way to change. By setting an intention, I can break through the things that are unsupportive and fearful. Less focus on what I don't know, don’t have, can’t do. I  intend to use everything I do know, everything I do have, everything I can do. I intend to use every gift that has been given to me to fulfill my plan and purpose. Wow, living the perfectly imperfect life.